Tips on writing a CV for jobs or admissions for academic purposes.

Do you breathe air?, mention it, how many arms do you have? legs? Maybe eyes? Do you know how to use a toilet? Mention all these things and soon your CV will be filled.
P.S. The (mean) average human has 1.99 legs, having 2 shows your super-human like qualities.

Don't be shy about your criminal past. You could even make things up such as you're a drug dealer, been arrested for oppression or even murder. Things like this will make them think you're really cool and want to meet you.

Some good categories to include are: drugs used, sexual partners, arrests and crimes not prosecuted for, prejudices, religious feelings, political views, fetishes, favorite dirty joke, and list your darkest secret for good measure.

**Hope it helps !

-IfuM

Struggling with work recently and looking for a career change - OLRPHTips

#OLRPHTips on struggling with work recently and looking for a career change?

You should try being a hired assassin. Good pay, fun international travel and an exciting lifestyle with ladies and gentlemen all around the world willing to do your bidding, sexual or otherwise. When you retire you can write a book, and maybe star in a movie.

**Hope it helped.

-IfuM